What if? Network for Diversity and Inclusion

An open mind is a terrible thing to close.

A headline from today's New York Times reflects the results of a poll that was recently completed. The conclusion that was drawn from the telephone polling of 1796 registered voters was that Obama has not been successful in closing the racial gap that persists around his Presidential candidacy. (I wonder how come the headline did not suggest the need for both candidates to close it.) At any rate, in viewing the poll in its entirety, there are some particularly interesting results to the question, "how comfortable do you think most people feel when they have conversations about race with someone of another race? very comfortable, somewhat comfortable, somewhat uncomfortable, or very uncomfortable. Among whites the numbers were 9,38,40, and 7 respectively. Among blacks, the numbers were 11,30,42, and 14, and among Hispanics, the numbers were 7,33,43, and 13....which means that there is a degree of discomfort for 70+ percentage of people in each of the groups surveyed! I think that I have a sense of why white people feel that way, but why do you think such a large number of their black and hispanic respondents feel that way.?

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Because Hispanics and blacks are influenced by the same messages that many whites are. yes there is a difference in skin color that often leads to different cultural and traditional values and beliefs, but minorities also receive these messages and Ideas. Minorities watch the news, they read the bill boards, they receive education from the same text books. These messages affect minorities just as they affect the majority of people in the united States. The discomfort about these issues are an American cultural phenomenon, the reaches across many of the subcultures that usually make us different.

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I think "minorities" may feel apprehensive about talking about race because of the way they may be received by the majority. Sometimes when a minority decides to engage in a discussion on race it falls on deaf ears and it becomes frustrating, so it's easier to just not engage in those types of discussions. I know from my own experience, I've had many discussions about race with white co-workers. Many times people would try to compare my experiences with racism to something they've experienced, and it's not the same. Being discriminated against based on the color of your skin is something that most white people cannot easily relate to and I'm not asking white people to relate. It would be nice however, if people could just listen to our painful stories, except them, and discuss what we can do so that we have fewer painful stories to tell in the future. I definitely appreciate your comment and your question.

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Kelly,
I think that you are right about the "frustration factor". Beyond that, I think that many minorities are probably usually found somewhere along a continuum that looks like the extremes of total assimilation or total rejection of the white culture - and the middle which has us carefully pick our battles. My experiences with many white people are that their conversations with us are either characterized by guilt (which feels uncomfortable for us - especially when they are friends) or angry defensiveness (which feels uncomfortable for us when there is a power dynamic or interdependence in the workplace.) Either way, we find ourselves either caretaking their feelings or drilling them to the wall (figuratively, of course) and it is a no-win situation. Luckily for some of us, we have had exposure to more effective ways (like Steve's work) to be able to have the conversations...but we are not yet a critical mass in that regard.
Thanks for sharing your thinking.

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I think you really summed up what the experience can be like, yes it is frustrating that there always seems to be extremes. There have , however, been situations where the conversational tone hit the middle ground. I truly appreciated those times. Great comment!

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Minorities Are just now really being able to discuss race with other ethnic groups in comfortable settings, where as the majority, this has been their first language for years. I am saying that the minority has had to watch what they say for so long in front of the majority that the open mindness and freedom of speech that is given to us now is still hard for the elderly people that walked this change thru, against the younger generation that were born into more freedom of speech. I feel it is more natural for our generation to speak up on topics that matter, and feel they have the right to try and make a change where needed and not fear what could happen.

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I agree with Cynthia that much of the comfort/discomfort of the conversation revolves around age. Gen X and Y have an easier time because their times were less polarized and they have higher expectations of the way it's supposed to be. Each successive conversation eases the way for new (and more productive) conversations, IMO. Then-candidate Obama opened the door wide with his speech in Philadelphia in spring 2008 on the need for a conversation on race. We now have national organizations calling for more discussion--the United Church of Christ calling for a Sacred Conversation on Race. This is a good thing.

A few months ago, a black "race correspondent" on fake-news comedian Jon Stewart's "Daily Show" said the conversation is getting easier because of Starter Negroes like Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier. "Starter Negroes"! My wife and I split a gut watching on the couch. If a black guy and a white guy (Stewart's Jewish) can sit across a (fake) news desk and have tongue-in-cheek conversations like this, we are on our way. May the conversation continue!

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